Decision

I am not a strong and good decision maker.
And right now I am the leader for Event-Charity.
But still, the decision is not fully from me myself.
Why? Because that is who I am, that is Farah.
I am not a good decision maker in one organization.

And last Thursday in Event Management class,
I've been scolded by En Fairuz because of this.
I do not make any decision yet bout the date, place.
And looking at some friends who agreed with En Fairuz
and just nodding their heads in front of me,
shows that I am really a weak leader.
And people won’t respect me anymore.

While being scolded, I just cant hold my tears anymore.
Glad having Shaz besides me with her hands holding mine
just give me a little hope to remain strong and calm.
While having the little meeting after class,
with the non respect situation towards me, myself
really bring me down, really down, down, down.
And I know that the problem is me, my attitude.
I need to start doing the decision just like others did.

And this morning, I have made one decision.
That will affect the whole life of Farah.
I don't need any other problems apart from study.
And I am still a kid among my friends, classmates.
And I am not capable to handle lots of stuff in 1 time.
I hope this decision will help me, Insyaallah.

p/s: Not all of the beloved friends and classmates will know
about the decision because I can't easily believe anyone.
And I also don't know if I can stay with the decision~